Key Political Theatre with Banks and Kim

John Key needs to start channelling Jacques Chirac in dealing with Banks and Kim right now. Chirac had a particular technique that would be useful for the local police called into ratepayers meetings. My friend uses it on her pre-schoolers when they’ve upended paint on the carpet, are involved in various forms of;‘she started’, ‘but she said’ ‘but I didn’t’ when invariably one wets her pants or the other starts crying. When things have gone beyond the rational or reasonable, rationalising or reasoning becomes invalid. She then reverts to her best dictator-with-a-French-accent voice she learnt from Chirac and demands that everyone cease and desist. “Stop eet. Stop eet now!”

It’s worth a look on YouTube.

Chirac, the then President of France is bush-bashing through the crowds of reporters and security people, hustling like only a born politician can and demands of the journos “What do you want me to do? Get back on my plane and go back to Fronce?!”  He is outraged. But not so outraged as to forget to smile at the camera and wave a friendly Bonjour almost simultaneously.

A perfect blend of the image outshining the substance – political theatre in motion.

John Key take note.

People. Seriously. What do you want him to do? Hop back on his space shuttle and rocket back to planet Key? Um. Yes actually, but it’s crucial for him to see, hear or speak no evil of Banks. He must continue refusing to read the police report on the donations for Banksy’s mayoral candidacy whilst murmuring “Move On. Lets all Move On” like a deranged dalek.

While at a South American barbeque recently, it was chastening to be laughed at by Columbians, Mexicans, a Venezuelan and an Argentine. I’d asked; what John Banks meant when he said ‘I want to help you Kimmy?’ What kind of help was he offering? They knew exactly because they deal with those kinds of relationships on a daily basis. When they go wrong someone ends up in a dumpster from which they do not return. It was probably the same kind of help that Shane Jones wanted to offer David Liu. They laughed at me again when I coyly referred to some local issues as ‘conflicts of interest’. It was just plain old ‘corruption’ where they came from but they enjoyed my delicacy. I admonished them for using the ‘C’ word, because of course that doesn’t exist here. They laughed again but stopped, saying it was giving them wrinkles or rather ‘lines of expression.’

Why is anyone surprised?

Banksie’s political hero was Joh Bjelke Petersen – the ex premier of Queensland and one of our most loathed exports principally for his record breaking reign over a local government infamous for its institutionalised corruption. A person, who Jim Hopkins said was the only man who could mistake democracy for dictatorship and get away with it.” Banks cut his political teeth in the WDC, a place where it has become a sport to call people ‘niggers in woodpiles’ and the bizarre and the demeaning has become the wallpaper.

The rational and the reasonable, if critical of the status quo, are simply pushed out.

Helen Clark’s droll comment that Banks ‘wouldn’t know an ethic if he tripped over it’ probably says more about the environment he’d come from than anything else. She described his and his ‘long, old and close friend; Stan Semenoff’s’ bid to buy the Waitangi Hotel all those years ago as a serious conflict of interest. To Banksie – it was probably just business as usual.

John Banks is sure to be jobless by next year.

If we’re not careful, he’ll be back. Please. Stop eet. Stop eet now.

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