I hope aliens arent watching us

I hope aliens aren’t watching us. Because if they are – earth is about ready to be invaded. After NASA’s effort on Friday the aliens will have figured they won’t need to bother with mass extermination or enslavement that we’ll just get rid of ourselves fairly soon leaving earth free for the taking. After all… what kind of a species puts all it’s best brains and ridiculous amounts of money into driving a very fast vehicle into a slow moving object? On purpose? And on the very day that we honour our holy priest of peace – John Lennon by naming a moon crater after him.


They will have decided that we’re either all rabid or of a primitive culture that values random acts of vandalism. Surely there is a more peaceful and less invasive way of looking for water than ramming the equivalent of 20 zillion hydro bombs or whatever it was into the side of your nearest neighbour. Don’t NASA have spades? Our intergalactic neighbours are hardly going to be shaking out the ‘welcome’ mat if water was there anyway… I mean who would want us as their neighbour?


All the crowing headlines of the NASA moon bombing being a success defy all reason – I bet the very same people who issued the press release would have the first 15 year old found tagging their back yard fence thrown in the nearest jail despite themselves being guilty of graffiti on an intergalactic scale. I’m thinking McDonalds will be planting a big ‘M’ up there very soon once they’ve signed a deal with NASA over crater naming rights. And there’s the thing… who owns the rights to the moon? Who decided it was NASA’s to play with in the first place? Maybe there is a sect of moon worshippers in Bhutan who wish for it to remain intact – I don’t remember there being any UN conference on whether or not other nations might be annoyed that NASA was going round blowing up bits of our solar system.

What would happen if in those little bits of dust were found specks of gold or bits of uranium? Apparently one asteroid alone can contain trillions of dollars worth of resources. Who owns the mining rights in space? I know NASA was only looking for water in order for us all to go and grow organic veges there but wouldn’t it be interesting if lots of valuable resources just happened to show up too? Antartica – the last frontier for international colonization has had treaties governing mining issues and preservation of the environment for over a hundred years – surely the moon should be covered too. Actually – it is. We have a few space treaties but the fifth agreement passed by the UN ‘Governing the Activities of States on the Moon and other Celestial Bodies’ was passed in 1979. This states that ‘the Moon and its natural resources are the common heritage of mankind and that the use of the moon shall be carried out for the benefit and in the interests of all countries irrespective of their degree of economic development.’ Obviously the US objected. The ‘common heritage’ bit kind of got in the way of huge dividends. In the UCLA Journal of Law and Technology it is suggested that there needs to be an international regulatory board to grant licenses to mine in space to get round that common heritage clause. That’d work. Sam Dinkin on his website ‘The Space Review’ shows in one deft sentence exactly how; “The activities of non-governmental entities in outer space, including the moon and other celestial bodies, shall require authorization and continuing supervision by the appropriate State Party to the Treaty… we can bootstrap a private property regime by only granting a single US entity the right to exploit a certain tract on Mars. We will be expanding an American way of doing business into space.” Yay. Well – I guess it worked in Iraq with the security firms. It’s certainly worth a go.

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